useduser (usedusername) wrote in straight_askew,
useduser
usedusername
straight_askew

RANDAL/ELIAS
PART THREE of the little series I've got going. Unfortuantely, there's a really freaking weird end again, but I have gotten a plan for a fourth part being the final part.
PG-13 or so.
Summary: Randal and Elias get fired for having sex. They fight, and Randal asks Elias a question.



The health inspector not being an idiot was the worst thing in the world. Whether or not he was tipped off by seeing two half-naked guys fucking amongst the mops, or Dante’s complete ineptitude at lying, Randal wasn’t sure. Either way, the guy wasn’t the kind to be fooled:

“What were two of the employees doing in the supply closet?” He’d asked.

Dante had swung around like he was looking for both the closet and the employees in question before answering. “Uh..taking inventory?”

Randal probably hadn’t helped the proceedings by laughing.

The health inspector’s eyebrows raised slightly for a moment, “I see.” He jotted something down on the piece of paper on his clipboard, made two deliberate marks that seemed distinctly and horrifically ‘X‘-like, then led Dante to the kitchen and asked about what was used in their food.

Apparently the rest of the place was sanitary enough for fast-food places, so Randal opted not to say that he only sometimes washed his hands after pissing or that Dante had jerked off in the bathroom.

In fact, all the health inspector had said they had to do to get a passing grade was fire the two employees who’d been fucking in the closet.

Dante looked at Randal and Elias. Opened his mouth.

Then made Becky fire them.

Randal and Elias stalked outside together.

Elias waited until they were outside to swing around at him and shout, “I can’t do this anymore, Randal!”

“What are you babbling about?”

“We can’t….you know….anymore.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“God is punishing us.”

“Oh? For what?”

“I can’t have sex before I’m married!” Elias shuffled his feet, “And…and for having homosexual relations.”

“’Homosexual relations’.” Randal scoffed.

“Don’t you get it? God is punishing me! You can’t disobey God, Randal.”

“Because you get an eternal, flaming grounding.”

“Right.”

Randal and Elias were quiet a minute.

Then Randal shouted, “What the fuck kind of hypocrite are you?”

“What?”

“It’s all right the other million times we fuck, but suddenly when someone catches us it’s wrong? God’s got some personal God-damned agenda against you? Jesus Christ. Not everything is God’s wrath. Some things just fucking happen.”

“Yeah, but…Everything happens for a reason.”

“Fuck that. Fuck you.” Randal shoved Elias hard.

Elias looked absolutely like he was going to cry. He turned around and took a few steps.

Randal, even though he’d gotten the last word, felt like he hadn’t. He felt like it wasn’t over yet. He didn’t want it to be over; not the conversation with Elias, and not the ‘thing’ with Elias. But he still took joy seeing that Elias couldn’t walk away: “I thought you were fucking leaving.”

Elias waited a second, then turned back to him. “You’re my ride home.”

“Is that God punishing you, too?”

Elias shrugged and sat on the ground.

“Get up, Elias.”

Elias ignored him and stared at the asphalt. He played absently with his shoelaces, then said, “My mom’s gonna be mad at me.”

“I thought God was being the bad parent this time.”

Elias was quiet again.

“Elias…”

Elias stayed silent.

Randal sighed and looked around for other people, “Jesus…” He muttered, then sat to have his eyes level with Elias.

Elias shifted but didn’t look up.

Randal rocked back and forth a minute, then said suddenly, “Move in with me.”

Elias shot up like a rocket, stumbling at how quickly he got to his feet. “What?”

“Just, you know. Move in with me. So I can prove God isn’t out to get you.” Randal followed Elias’ example and stood up.

“That’s why you want me to live with you? So you can prove a point?”

“No.” Randal sighed and rubbed his temples, “I was joking about that. Just…no.” He paced for a while, then walked closer to Elias, “Shit, Elias, I want you to live with me because I fucking want you in my life every second. Okay? Every single second. That’s why.”

“Oh.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll do it then?”

Elias nodded.

“Well…good.”

Randal paused, then moved and pulled Elias quickly into a hug. It seemed like the right thing to do, at least. And Elias wasn’t resisting.

Elias mumbled something into Randal’s shoulder.

Randal waited a second, then pulled back, “What?”

“I said ‘Don’t you live with your mom’?”

Randal stared at Elias blankly until it dawned on him:

SHIT!
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